Discussion on Jason's News!

**The following discussion, summary and adivce will be posted on Jason's blog as feedback.

Writer: Jason (Jackowacko Juliesse)
Reviewer: Dana (Nada Copperfield)

Editor: Alan (karikan Kytori)
Organizer: Olivia (Cloud Clarity)

Report on the Discussion:

Jason’s story is about famous Eva puff in Tainan which is renowned for its ice cream stuff with eight flavors. Our group members are really amazed by the pictures that Jason took. These pictures really grab readers’ attentions even before we read it! It is a good start to make an attraction. Yet, in his article, what we concerned about is that there is a strange leap in the second paragraph: “But the best-selling in the store is milk. Based on the article on the blog, the blogger said the flavor is fragrant.” Here we find no transition between these two sentences. We even don’t know which blog he is mentioned. So we suggest him that he should revise that part like adding a transition. As readers, we want to know why he should mention the blog. Does it has anything to do with Eva’s celebrity? That’s what we want to know about and is very crucial in making the whole story complete.

Chat Transcripts of SL Discussion:
[2009/03/25 1:14] Jackowacko Juliesse: next~~~~~
[2009/03/25 1:14] Fiona Galaxy is Offline
[2009/03/25 1:14] Makong Broono is Offline
[2009/03/25 1:15] Cloud Clarity: who's next= =
[2009/03/25 1:15] Jackowacko Juliesse: me?
[2009/03/25 1:15] Jackowacko Juliesse: writer?
[2009/03/25 1:15] Cloud Clarity: ok
[2009/03/25 1:15] karikan Kytori: ok, then i'm evaluator
[2009/03/25 1:15] Nada Copperfield: i am the reviwer
[2009/03/25 1:15] Cloud Clarity: organizer
[2009/03/25 1:15] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:16] Jackowacko Juliesse: my story is talking about the EVA puff
[2009/03/25 1:16] Jackowacko Juliesse: it is special in taiwan
[2009/03/25 1:16] Nada Copperfield: link~~~~~~
[2009/03/25 1:16] Nada Copperfield: please
[2009/03/25 1:16] Nada Copperfield: haha
[2009/03/25 1:17] Cloud Clarity: http://jajason.blogspot.com/
[2009/03/25 1:17] Jackowacko Juliesse: http://jajason.blogspot.com/
[2009/03/25 1:17] Jackowacko Juliesse: so sweet
[2009/03/25 1:17] Cloud Clarity: 中文是啥？eva?
[2009/03/25 1:17] Nada Copperfield: olivia is yelling behin me = =
[2009/03/25 1:17] Nada Copperfield: someday saves her please
[2009/03/25 1:17] Cloud Clarity: but the pic is so delicious~~~~
[2009/03/25 1:17] Nada Copperfield: she is crazier than me
[2009/03/25 1:17] Jackowacko Juliesse: 依娃
[2009/03/25 1:17] Cloud Clarity: ohohohohohoh
[2009/03/25 1:17] Nada Copperfield: you are a professional potoghoprraoger
[2009/03/25 1:18] Cloud Clarity: yes u r
[2009/03/25 1:18] Cloud Clarity: so delicious
[2009/03/25 1:18] Nada Copperfield: hey jacko
[2009/03/25 1:18] Jackowacko Juliesse: ?
[2009/03/25 1:18] Nada Copperfield: i wanna eat that
[2009/03/25 1:18] Cloud Clarity: i want to eat
[2009/03/25 1:18] Nada Copperfield: bring it ot me please
[2009/03/25 1:18] Jackowacko Juliesse: it's ice cream
[2009/03/25 1:18] Cloud Clarity: me too
[2009/03/25 1:19] Jackowacko Juliesse: i cannot take here
[2009/03/25 1:19] Nada Copperfield: i know
[2009/03/25 1:19] Cloud Clarity: NCKU?
[2009/03/25 1:19] Cloud Clarity: 成功？
[2009/03/25 1:19] Jackowacko Juliesse: yes
[2009/03/25 1:20] karikan Kytori: what do u mean by "based on the article on the blog?"
[2009/03/25 1:21] Jackowacko Juliesse: based on the article on the blog? of the blog
[2009/03/25 1:21] Jackowacko Juliesse: i spell the wrong word
[2009/03/25 1:21] Jackowacko Juliesse: sorry
[2009/03/25 1:21] Nada Copperfield: hey jason i thkin there is something that might be wrong
[2009/03/25 1:21] Jackowacko Juliesse: yes?
[2009/03/25 1:21] karikan Kytori: u mean the blog of yhe shop?
[2009/03/25 1:21] Nada Copperfield: no
[2009/03/25 1:21] Jackowacko Juliesse: some blogger
[2009/03/25 1:22] Nada Copperfield: i eman the nevertheless, it did not affect its popularity and alluring more people to taste
[2009/03/25 1:22] Nada Copperfield: is it a litte wierd
[2009/03/25 1:22] Jackowacko Juliesse: the morphology?
[2009/03/25 1:22] Cloud Clarity: ｓｏ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｂｌｏｇ？
[2009/03/25 1:22] Jackowacko Juliesse: bajenny
[2009/03/25 1:22] Jackowacko Juliesse: or lemonellen?
[2009/03/25 1:23] Jackowacko Juliesse: u mean my morphology
[2009/03/25 1:23] Nada Copperfield: what is bajenny
[2009/03/25 1:23] Jackowacko Juliesse: the blog
[2009/03/25 1:23] Nada Copperfield: well i am not talling about the blog
[2009/03/25 1:23] Nada Copperfield: i am talking the lines
[2009/03/25 1:23] karikan Kytori: there are some grammatical errors to be corrected in ur revision
[2009/03/25 1:23] Nada Copperfield: yes
[2009/03/25 1:23] Nada Copperfield: danke
[2009/03/25 1:24] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:24] Nada Copperfield: it's not big deal ~~~~~
[2009/03/25 1:24] Nada Copperfield: but the blog......
[2009/03/25 1:24] Jackowacko Juliesse: nevertheless, it did not affect its popularity and alluring more people to taste.
[2009/03/25 1:24] Jackowacko Juliesse: the sentence?
[2009/03/25 1:24] Nada Copperfield: yes the sentence
[2009/03/25 1:25] Nada Copperfield: i dunno what you guyes are talking about the blog
[2009/03/25 1:25] Nada Copperfield: i am fine with it so far
[2009/03/25 1:25] Jackowacko Juliesse: it is not a big deal
[2009/03/25 1:26] Jackowacko Juliesse: coz olivian asked me
[2009/03/25 1:26] Jackowacko Juliesse: which blog= =
[2009/03/25 1:26] Cloud Clarity: uhhhhh
[2009/03/25 1:26] Nada Copperfield: hayah you still need to correct it muahuahuahua
[2009/03/25 1:26] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:26] Cloud Clarity: it's cuz alan ask first= =
[2009/03/25 1:26] Jackowacko Juliesse: i will~~~~
[2009/03/25 1:26] karikan Kytori: what i mean is not about which blog
[2009/03/25 1:27] karikan Kytori: i mean why u mentioned others' blogs in ur article
[2009/03/25 1:27] Cloud Clarity: ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh
[2009/03/25 1:27] Nada Copperfield: i saw it
[2009/03/25 1:27] Nada Copperfield: what blog did you mean>
[2009/03/25 1:27] Jackowacko Juliesse: coz it really tasted by others
[2009/03/25 1:28] Jackowacko Juliesse: the blog online
[2009/03/25 1:28] Nada Copperfield: or you just told them, if it is so haha ignore me
[2009/03/25 1:28] Jackowacko Juliesse: should i revise these part
[2009/03/25 1:28] Jackowacko Juliesse: about which blog?
[2009/03/25 1:29] Cloud Clarity: it;s not clear
[2009/03/25 1:29] Cloud Clarity: i see that part in ur article
[2009/03/25 1:30] Cloud Clarity: it's abrupt to see this
[2009/03/25 1:30] Jackowacko Juliesse: so i should emphsize on which i blog i quote from?
[2009/03/25 1:30] Cloud Clarity: yeah
[2009/03/25 1:30] Cloud Clarity: it's better if u add that
[2009/03/25 1:30] karikan Kytori: so u want to gain some guarantee from others' blogs?
[2009/03/25 1:30] Nada Copperfield: extraodinary?
[2009/03/25 1:30] Nada Copperfield: the extrodianry
[2009/03/25 1:31] Jackowacko Juliesse: Based on the article on the blog, the blogger said the flavor is fragrant.
[2009/03/25 1:31] Jackowacko Juliesse: yes
[2009/03/25 1:31] Nada Copperfield: should you add the extraodianry of what or it is okay
[2009/03/25 1:31] Nada Copperfield: haha i dunno quite sure
[2009/03/25 1:31] Jackowacko Juliesse: i want to gurantee the flavor is really good
[2009/03/25 1:32] Nada Copperfield: haha i know i mean
[2009/03/25 1:32] Jackowacko Juliesse: so i quote from the blog called bajenny
[2009/03/25 1:32] karikan Kytori: i know why i felt weird
[2009/03/25 1:32] Jackowacko Juliesse: ??
[2009/03/25 1:32] Nada Copperfield: the extraodinary is enoguh or you should add "the extraodinayr of waht'
[2009/03/25 1:33] karikan Kytori: coz the former sentence goes that milk sold the best
[2009/03/25 1:33] Jackowacko Juliesse: yes
[2009/03/25 1:33] Nada Copperfield: o i ce
[2009/03/25 1:33] Nada Copperfield: o i c
[2009/03/25 1:33] Nada Copperfield: unrelatted?
[2009/03/25 1:33] Nada Copperfield: irrelevant
[2009/03/25 1:33] Nada Copperfield: ?
[2009/03/25 1:34] Jackowacko Juliesse: But the best-selling in the store is milk. Based on the article on the blog, the blogger said the flavor is fragrant. But before you ready to savor the puff, you should wait for a while until the ice cream becomes a little bit of softness.
[2009/03/25 1:34] Jackowacko Juliesse: these part?
[2009/03/25 1:34] Jackowacko Juliesse: i also feel something weird\
[2009/03/25 1:34] karikan Kytori: yep
[2009/03/25 1:34] Nada Copperfield: jump too fast?
[2009/03/25 1:34] Jackowacko Juliesse: i would revise the sentece
[2009/03/25 1:34] karikan Kytori: it's unclear enough
[2009/03/25 1:35] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:35] Jackowacko Juliesse: how do i revise
[2009/03/25 1:37] Jackowacko Juliesse: = =
[2009/03/25 1:38] Jackowacko Juliesse: Get lost!
[2009/03/25 1:38] karikan Kytori: why u r so silent?
[2009/03/25 1:38] karikan Kytori: = =
[2009/03/25 1:38] Jackowacko Juliesse: i asked how do i revise
[2009/03/25 1:38] Jackowacko Juliesse: = =
[2009/03/25 1:38] Cloud Clarity: = =
[2009/03/25 1:38] Cloud Clarity: i'm wondering
[2009/03/25 1:38] Nada Copperfield: Please!
[2009/03/25 1:39] Nada Copperfield: is it becasuee it is a litte bit abpurt that you jump from milk than to the blogger?
[2009/03/25 1:40] Nada Copperfield: then
[2009/03/25 1:40] IM: Tash Sobczak: y
[2009/03/25 1:40] Nada Copperfield: to the blogger
[2009/03/25 1:40] Nada Copperfield: is that so?
[2009/03/25 1:40] Nada Copperfield: haha \
[2009/03/25 1:40] Jackowacko Juliesse: i only quote from the blog
[2009/03/25 1:40] Cloud Clarity: i think if u want to say about blogger, u perhaps should give the link?
[2009/03/25 1:40] IM: Zoey Itano: ?
[2009/03/25 1:41] Nada Copperfield: o i ce
[2009/03/25 1:41] Nada Copperfield: o totally and finally completely ce
[2009/03/25 1:41] Nada Copperfield: = =
[2009/03/25 1:41] Jackowacko Juliesse: coz i want everyone to realize what the flavor is the best-selling
[2009/03/25 1:42] karikan Kytori: i think the reason u quoted from the blogs is not clear
[2009/03/25 1:42] Nada Copperfield: that is what the blogger said??
[2009/03/25 1:42] karikan Kytori: i do not understand what u want to focus on when i first read it
[2009/03/25 1:42] Jackowacko Juliesse: yes
[2009/03/25 1:43] Jackowacko Juliesse: i do not understand what u want to focus
[2009/03/25 1:43] Nada Copperfield: oh then you choose the wron the blogger
[2009/03/25 1:43] Jackowacko Juliesse: i dunno what the meaning of alan said
[2009/03/25 1:45] Jackowacko Juliesse: dana
[2009/03/25 1:45] Jackowacko Juliesse: u r dancing?
[2009/03/25 1:45] karikan Kytori: i know why. coz u divide them into two sentences
[2009/03/25 1:45] Nada Copperfield: = =
[2009/03/25 1:45] Nada Copperfield: no
[2009/03/25 1:45] karikan Kytori: so i think u r talking about two different things
[2009/03/25 1:45] karikan Kytori: she's b;azing
[2009/03/25 1:45] Cloud Clarity: HOOOOOOHOOOOOHOOOOO
[2009/03/25 1:45] Cloud Clarity: Hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[2009/03/25 1:45] Nada Copperfield: nein
[2009/03/25 1:45] Nada Copperfield: = = \\\\
[2009/03/25 1:46] Nada Copperfield: but
[2009/03/25 1:46] Cloud Clarity: do u know what we are talking about jacko?
[2009/03/25 1:46] Nada Copperfield: i still think these two sentences are irrelevant
[2009/03/25 1:46] Nada Copperfield: = = haha
[2009/03/25 1:46] Nada Copperfield: this blogger is ........ not understandable
[2009/03/25 1:46] karikan Kytori: maybe dana could explain it
[2009/03/25 1:47] Nada Copperfield: uh.....
[2009/03/25 1:47] karikan Kytori: i don't know how to explain my feeling
[2009/03/25 1:47] Cloud Clarity: perhaps u sould paraphrase
[2009/03/25 1:47] Nada Copperfield: okay what i think is that
[2009/03/25 1:47] Cloud Clarity: like according to the blog byjenny...
[2009/03/25 1:47] Cloud Clarity: the blogger mentioned that...
[2009/03/25 1:47] Cloud Clarity: sort of
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: first the blogger is talking about the best thing of this store, then she said we should wait for the ice cream Blahblahblah
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: so what i think is that are they relevant???= =
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: haha
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: i dunno
[2009/03/25 1:48] Cloud Clarity: or u need a transition
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: yes
[2009/03/25 1:48] Nada Copperfield: haha
[2009/03/25 1:49] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:49] Jackowacko Juliesse: i will revise
[2009/03/25 1:49] Cloud Clarity: at least u should say why you quote the blog or why this blog so importatnt
[2009/03/25 1:49] Nada Copperfield: is that so ALAn????? or what you concerned of is another thinng
[2009/03/25 1:50] karikan Kytori: ja ja
[2009/03/25 1:50] Jackowacko Juliesse: this is not only one said like bajenny said
[2009/03/25 1:50] karikan Kytori: i agree with u
[2009/03/25 1:50] Jackowacko Juliesse: many ppl said about this
[2009/03/25 1:50] Cloud Clarity: u sould emphasis at first not until the third paragraph did the sentence show up
[2009/03/25 1:50] Cloud Clarity: oh
[2009/03/25 1:50] Cloud Clarity: so perhaps u should not quot?
[2009/03/25 1:50] Jackowacko Juliesse: nope
[2009/03/25 1:51] Jackowacko Juliesse: that's why i did not link to the linkinh
[2009/03/25 1:51] karikan Kytori: calm down
[2009/03/25 1:51] karikan Kytori: crazy woman
[2009/03/25 1:51] Cloud Clarity: stop her jacko
[2009/03/25 1:51] Cloud Clarity: haha
[2009/03/25 1:51] Cloud Clarity: or
[2009/03/25 1:51] Cloud Clarity: follow her
[2009/03/25 1:51] Cloud Clarity: XDDDDDDD
[2009/03/25 1:51] Nada Copperfield: = =
[2009/03/25 1:52] Nada Copperfield: what;s wrong
[2009/03/25 1:52] Jackowacko Juliesse: every one is crazyyyyyyyyyyyy
[2009/03/25 1:52] Nada Copperfield: = =
[2009/03/25 1:52] Nada Copperfield: mensch what is going on
[2009/03/25 1:52] Cloud Clarity: HAHAHAHAH
[2009/03/25 1:52] Cloud Clarity: go back everyon
[2009/03/25 1:52] Cloud Clarity: e
[2009/03/25 1:53] Nada Copperfield: what should we do
[2009/03/25 1:53] Cloud Clarity: jacko needs help muahaha
[2009/03/25 1:53] Una Rewell is Offline
[2009/03/25 1:53] Jackowacko Juliesse: i know the question of the article
[2009/03/25 1:53] Nada Copperfield: do you mean that could should mention the blog first?
[2009/03/25 1:53] Cloud Clarity: ook
[2009/03/25 1:54] Nada Copperfield: jacko should .......
[2009/03/25 1:54] Nada Copperfield: typo = =
[2009/03/25 1:54] Nada Copperfield: \
[2009/03/25 1:54] Nada Copperfield: sorry
[2009/03/25 1:54] Nada Copperfield: sh*
[2009/03/25 1:54] Cloud Clarity: don't just jump into "the blog"
[2009/03/25 1:54] Cloud Clarity: we reader don't knok what's that
[2009/03/25 1:55] karikan Kytori: ja ja
[2009/03/25 1:55] Cloud Clarity: and what's so important about this quot
[2009/03/25 1:55] Jackowacko Juliesse: so i still put on the linking?
[2009/03/25 1:55] Amberlin Zuta is Offline
[2009/03/25 1:55] Jackowacko Juliesse: but it not only this blog said like that
[2009/03/25 1:55] karikan Kytori: no need for the link
[2009/03/25 1:55] karikan Kytori: i think
[2009/03/25 1:55] Cloud Clarity: coz u said many people buy EVA because of the blog?
[2009/03/25 1:55] Jackowacko Juliesse: nope
[2009/03/25 1:56] Cloud Clarity: dand ...
[2009/03/25 1:56] Jackowacko Juliesse: every one who taste the ouff
[2009/03/25 1:56] Cloud Clarity: fall
[2009/03/25 1:56] Cloud Clarity: s
[2009/03/25 1:56] Jackowacko Juliesse: has the same feeling like the blig
[2009/03/25 1:56] karikan Kytori: dana becomes nada now
[2009/03/25 1:56] Cloud Clarity: dana is stuck downstair muahhaa
[2009/03/25 1:56] Cloud Clarity: yeah
[2009/03/25 1:57] Jackowacko Juliesse: ?
[2009/03/25 1:57] Jackowacko Juliesse: so ?
[2009/03/25 1:58] Cloud Clarity: perhaps u can ssay...
[2009/03/25 1:58] karikan Kytori: do not trip on me, obasan
[2009/03/25 1:58] Jackowacko Juliesse: transition?
[2009/03/25 1:58] Nada Copperfield: yes
[2009/03/25 1:58] Nada Copperfield: tranisition
[2009/03/25 1:58] Cloud Clarity: ha yeah@@
[2009/03/25 1:59] Jackowacko Juliesse: okay
[2009/03/25 1:59] Cloud Clarity: okay